Tuesday, October 26, 2010

We Need More Iron Chariots

God can create the universe, but this little bit of technology is too much for him.

I've figured out how to make God stop punishing us with tornadoes and hurricanes and flooding. (Apparently, God can't just send a swarm of locusts to one person's apartment, he needs to take out an entire city.) It's right there in the Bible: iron chariots.

Judges 1:19

And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.

So, if you want to make your house safe from acts of God, just park an iron chariot in the front lawn. God is powerless before them.

1 comment:

  1. 3 And to the Canaanite on the east and on the west, and to the Amorite, and the Hittite, and the Perizzite, and the Jebusite in the mountains, and to the Hivite under Hermon in the land of Mizpeh. 4 And they went out, they and all their hosts with them, much people, even as the sand that is upon the sea shore in multitude, with horses and chariots very many. 5 And when all these kings were met together, they came and pitched together at the waters of Merom, to fight against Israel.
    6 And the LORD said unto Joshua, Be not afraid because of them: for to morrow about this time will I deliver them up all slain before Israel: thou shalt hough their horses, and burn their chariots with fire. 7 So Joshua came, and all the people of war with him, against them by the waters of Merom suddenly; and they fell upon them. 8 And the LORD delivered them into the hand of Israel, who smote them, and chased them unto great Zidon, and unto Misrephothmaim, and unto the valley of Mizpeh eastward; and they smote them, until they left them none remaining. 9 And Joshua did unto them as the LORD bade him: he houghed their horses, and burnt their chariots with fire. Joshua 11:3-9

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