Wednesday, September 1, 2010

It's My Personal Supermodel Skinny

You deserve to smirk, Katie, that hair is everything I cannot be.

Being overly thin myself (though lately I seem to be holding on to some weight, which is good), I don't have much of a reaction to pictures of supermodels and superthin actresses. I certainly don't even begin to have the "OMG! Why don't I look that way? Am I expected to look that way? AH!" reaction that is pretty common to women of our culture.

I have that reaction to long hair.

I just can't grow my hair much past chin length. My hair is fine to begin with and length just makes it even flatter. It gets damaged easily and anything past my chin tends to be a fried mess. And my hair just doesn't grow much past the middle of my neck anyway.

I've tried everything. Vitamins for hair growth. (Yes, they sell those.) Shampoo and conditioner for hair growth. Massaging my scalp, special brushes . . . If some advertiser says "increases hair growth!" I'll buy it. I desperately want extensions, but they're expensive, even the clipon ones.

See the picture of me as Jenka in my profile? I go home and put that wig on and flounce around with long, white hair and feel beautiful. It's pathetic, I know.

The truth is, I'm never going to have long hair. Long hair looks bad on me for a variety of reasons and it's just not happening. But every time I see a model or actress or woman on the street with long, thick, flowing hair I feel that much less attractive, that much less sexy.

So you can imagine how I felt about this:

I'm warning you right now -- I'm about to make a sweeping generalization, and I am fully preparing myself for a reasonably hostile response.

Most guys prefer women with longer hair.

Oh, okay. I'm ugly. I will go hide in a closet now. But don't worry, he's got prooflike things to back this up. Factish, even.

But if most guys don't like short hair on women, then why do so many women cut their hair short? I can't say for sure, but I have a few ideas. Some women simply don't want to bother with caring for long hair. Others get bored with their hairstyle after a while and long for a change, any change. Still others see a short haircut they like on some other woman and decide to try it for themselves.

It's weird. It's almost like the hair is on my head and I'm not doing this for you.

Have you ever noticed the reaction to this? When the newly shorn girl first appears at school or at work, other women tend to gather round and compliment her, usually telling her how cute she looks with her new "do." The men, meanwhile, usually look up only long enough to remark: "Sure, looks nice." Or they simply smile and say nothing. To be brutally honest, some guys barely even notice.

This has nothing to do with hair and whether or not men like your hair. First of all, politeness alone demands that you compliment someone on their new haircut, and if you don't like it, you keep that to yourself. Secondly, men aren't socialized the same as women. Women are socialized to notice and talk about these sorts of thing, men are socialized that only gay guys notice and talk about these sorts of things. Thirdly, especially in a work environment, commenting upon a woman's physical appearance with any more specificity than "You look nice" can be very unprofessional. And creepy.

The point is that women with short haircuts are affirmed almost exclusively by ... other women. Ask their husbands or boyfriends, and most will admit -- though rarely to the woman's face -- that they kinda liked it better when her hair wasn't so short.

Did you do any kind of survey? Anything sciencey at all, or is this just what you assume men are thinking because you think it?

Let me quote a relationship columnist far more knowledgeable than myself -- one Candice Watters, author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen:

"Yes, my heart and character is a key part of what attracted Steve, but I'd be omitting half the story if I didn't also say that as I grew my severe, short and sassy haircut out to a more feminine length, he began to find me more attractive."

Can I tell you how nuts that drives me? We have no idea what Ms. Watters looked like with short hair. Perhaps her particular haircut was unflattering to her. Perhaps a different short haircut would have been more flattering. Perhaps her face shape/features are best served by longer hair. We don't know, we're just left with the impression that had she not grown out her hair, she would have been single forever. AH!

Of course, this concept pertains to men, too. A guy who sports a two-foot-long beard or is covered in tattoos certainly might appeal to some women, but probably not the majority of the female population.

Oh, I see, if I want to be attractive, I should look just like everyone else. Except that I don't know anyone with long hair in real life. No, wait, one person and I'm pretty sure those are extensions. So, I should look like every model/actress?

I'll just sit over hear in a corner and weep.



11 comments:

  1. I have very long hair that I wear in a bun ALL THE TIME. Why, you ask? I am lazy. Hair appointments take energy-energy to remember them, energy to get there and back, energy to put up with vapid conversation, energy to brace myself for the bill.

    But yes, men do like long hair. I myself think that is because all people like the tactile sensuousness of hair. And long hair is so visible. People imagine what it feels like-silky, smooth, etc, etc. But men aren't the ones who have to take care of it.

    And, of course, historically, women with short hair defy traditional norms. If you're Christian, does Short hair =Whore of Babylon? Maybe. More than likely in certain polygamous patriarchal sects...

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  2. What I prefer varies from person to person based on a number of physical characteristics unique to the individual (for example, short hair generally looks much more out of place on women with longer necks than women with shorter necks). All that said, I've never seen a woman for whom hair was a make it or break it point of attractiveness. In fact, many women look good in either style.

    The one that always baffled me is cornrolls and their tightly braided against the skin so it's like they're bald-but-not ilk, they look genuinely stupid on men and positively ugly on women to me.

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  3. I love it when people go off on stuff like this.

    Okay, so the internet told me the other day that Anne Hathaway had decided to go with a really short haircut. It then showed me a picture of her with her old, long hair next to a picture of her with her new, short hair. My response was, "Wow, that just does not work with her face." Why? Because it doesn't.

    I used to date a girl who had really short hair when I met her. She started growing it out and I never liked it as much when it was long. Because it worked for her when it was short.

    I'm currently running the girls/women I've known and been attracted to in my life through my mind. Off the top of my head I can come up with at least four who had short hair who I found quite attractive. There are probably more, but I just don't remember.

    The only way you can make a blanket statement that short hair = bad and long hair = good is if you start with the assumption that women are interchangeable accessories for their hair. Period.

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  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  5. FAIR AND BALANCED!



    add comment moderation to your BS or more people will die with you...


    NO GODS AND NO POLITICS WITH THESE LITTLE IDIOTS!


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyEISfS15g4&feature=player_embedded



    plush safe he think

    http://www.christies.com/lotfinderimages/D14781/d1478164x.jpg




    http://vimeo.com/13704095


    but with recent revelations about James Randi, I think he likes DICKS!


    ____________________

    THE SECOND COMING!

    THE END OF ATHEISM

    FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Smwrw4sNCxE


    THE B**BQUAKE - 911

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeblvLoVJCA&feature=related

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpZZ2PPBzP8&feature=related

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvSljPf9on4&feature=related

    you are going to pay the price for this….

    THE RUBBER DUCKY OF PSEUDOSCIENCE III - JAMES RANDI



    http://daddytypes.com/archive/hofman_rubber_duckie.jpg

    there is a lot of sh*t to flush!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cg2AezJo8aQ

    THE HEAD OF THE INFIDEL!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojR-XRt4rrA

    Is America burning yet?

    Maybe we need some more...

    we use the DIVINE against the ESTABLISHMENT... you?

    we do better DEMOLITIONS than you, savage...

    RENOUNCE YOUR ATHEISM AND JOIN THE SOCIALIST FAITH!

    let them know if the MDC continues more people will die...

    the WORLD TRADE CENTER PROPHECY - THE DANCE OF DEATH

    WORLD TRADE CENTER PROPHECY

    FLUSH ATHEISM!

    Actually it is a ROYAL FLUSH!!!

    Let me show you how ATHEISTS were partially responsible for 911

    These ATHEISTS NEED TO BE ON THE TERRORIST WATCH LIST!

    You don’t even have SCIENCE on your side…

    You’re a perfect example of when PHILOSOPHY becomes an ENEMY OF LIFE...

    http://stephenlaw.blogspot.com/2010/06/playing-mystery-card.html

    not quite samantha with her *supernatural spit*, eh?

    this isn't one of your little WORD GAMES...

    blasphemy is a DEATH SENTENCE

    you people actually BELIEVE the BS you preach!

    GOD 1 - atheists 0

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQcNiD0Z3MU

    Atheists,

    you are ENEMIES OF GOD AND ARE GOING TO BE ANNIHILATED...

    Repent and turn to God or be destroyed...

    YOU HAVE NO CHOICE...

    my interpretation of the STATUE FIRE... it symbolizes the SPIRITUAL DEATH of atheism...

    http://www.salon.com/news/2010/06/15/us_lightning_strikes_jesus_statue

    http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2010/6/16/1276680110544/The-King-of-Kings-statue--005.jpg

    http://www.latimes.com/media/photo/2010-06/54332292.jpg

    http://friendlyatheist.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/butterjesus-1.jpg

    PRINCESS DI IS WEARING A NEW DRESS!

    http://www.princeofwales.gov.uk/speechesandarticles/a_speech_by_hrh_the_prince_of_wales_titled_islam_and_the_env_252516346.html
    ______________________________
    http://skepticblog.org/2010/04/06/would-i-ever-pray-for-a-miracle/

    Shermer, I WANT TO SEE YOU BEG FOR A MIRACLE...
    ___________________
    we do like your music Lady Gaga, but...

    The B**BQUAKE - 911

    Let me show you the FATE OF TRAITORS...

    http://www.loiterink.com/photos/products/182_3424_500x500.jpg

    they are incapable of telling the difference between SCIENTIFIC *FACT* AND
    RELIGIOUS AND PHILOSOPHICAL *TRUTH*... FATAL ERROR!

    they also preach a *VALUE FREE SCIENCE* called *POSITIVISM* that ignores the
    inequalities of wealth and power in capitalist civilization...

    for a sample taste of PZ Myers' GARBAGE...

    http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2010/06/sunday_sacrilege_imagine_no_he.php

    HIJACKING IN PROGRESS!!!

    http://hawaiiwebgroup.com/maui-design/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/website-hijacking.jpg

    HIJACKING IN PROGRESS!!!

    how can these HEADLESS IDIOTS BET AGAINST GOD!!!


    http://www.peterkreeft.com/topics/pascals-wager.htm

    THE BOOBQUAKE - 911!
    ****************************************************
    http://dissidentphilosophy.lifediscussion.net/philosophy-f1/the-boobquake-911-t1310.htm

    ReplyDelete
  6. "Most guys prefer women with longer hair."

    Yeah, well most lesbians prefer women with shorter hair.* Come to the dark side, PF. ;-)


    (*Hey, if this guy can claim something about men with no evidence other than his own opinion, can't I?)

    ReplyDelete
  7. ::snickers:: Up until fairly recently, I was the long-haired one in our marriage. My wife keeps her hair medium-short, and I like it better that way. It frames her face better.

    Though in this guy's defense, at least he recognizes that he's making a sweeping generalization, and people are naturally going to take issue with that.

    ReplyDelete
  8. most of the men i talk to do, in fact, prefer longer hair on most women (there are definite exceptions). and i hang around with nontraditional, liberal men most of the time. so why the preference for long hair? i dunno. but none of them seem to think it's that big of a deal, in the same way that a woman's weight is a big deal (sadly, it is to a lot of guys). my husband doesn't really prefer one length over the other, just whatever looks good on the individual. my hair gets really heavy and boring when it's long, but it's not very flattering short either. neck length looks about right- it has more body that way. *shrug* i prefer my guys with long hair... my husband's hair is down past his shoulder blade and it's muy sexy. :) yum...

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  9. i'm another one of those with long hair - it's almost to my knees.

    and for the same reason as Jennifer, above - i'm LAZY. look, i wash my hair twice a week [and more, and it's fried] it dries, it goes in a bun. it stays in the bun until i either wash it again, or do something that causes me to do more with my hair [which doesn't happen often right now, considering.]



    the ONLY problem i have, is that my once ruler straight hair is now CURLY. i don't mean "the ends curl up" - i mean, when it's wet, i look like i just got a freakin spiral perm, and even when it's dry, there's way. my hair is over 4 feet long and it's so damned heavy, two years ago NOTHING would keep a curl in it, and now nothing i do STOPS the curl.
    this is apparantly a side affect of the anti-MRSA meds. and it's not that i want to complain [but dear GODS it's hard to brush it out, now!] it's just... all my life, i wanted curly hair, and NOTHING WORKED. i had a perm fall out in less than 4 hours. 3 bottles of AQUANET wouldn't keep my hair curly! and now...


    a friend of ours says that it wasn't the meds, that it's the Cherokee, but i think she's INSANE. Cherokee have STRAIGHTSTRAIGHTSTRAIGHT hair! !!!

    sigh. 4 feet, 4 inches. curly.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I am totally crushing on a girl who I keep seeing in ads (I've seen her in a pepsi ad and in a target t-shirt ad) who has short, blonde, wind-blown hair. It works really well on her. Like, absurdly well. I'd seriously pass up a date with Cameron Diaz for a date with her.

    I think the reason many people prefer long hair is because it obscures, leaving more to the imagination. It's also culturally conditioned to be preferable. But if short hair works on you, you not only come across as equally attractive, you come across as more interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  11. google "women short hair" and take the images result:
    http://www.google.com/images?q=women+short+hair&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:fr:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=univ&ei=Z35_TOzyMsWOjAf2pOhP&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CDUQsAQwAA&biw=1345&bih=757

    wow! Babes! with short hair! yum yum.

    ReplyDelete

Comments are for you guys, not for me. Say what you will. Don't feel compelled to stay on topic, I enjoy it when comments enter Tangentville or veer off into Non Sequitur Town. Just keep it polite, okay?

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